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Shockabuku Aminta

This is where the Shock movie comes into play. It should be arriving shortly.

Well THAT was unexpected

"Why!" Sim exclaimed. "Why can't you be in love with each other AT THE SAME TIME!?" She smacked her brow while Trin just shook her head in agreement. Kitty stood against the wall with her arms crossed. She had Sim's "death to them all" look about her.

When Trin caught Lucas making out with another woman she personally drug him back to the palace, tossed him into a chair, and retrieved Kitty so they could all have a nice talk. Sim was just there to kill the vampire when they were through.
"Look, I can't say I've gone to hell for your love," Lucas explained to Kitty. "But I have found myself there in the pursuit. I just can't take it anymore."
"Hmph!" Kitty turned her face away from the blonde. At least Lucas was trying to reason with her, unfortunately this was the mortal Lucas and the vampire would be out shortly.
"Why not?! You've been taking it for years!" Sim argued.

Kitty turned around and opened the door to the balcony. Apparently she couldn't take it either. The more she looked at Lucas the les she was mad at him. For a minute Kitty knew how Mage (who still hadn't returned from leaving his wedding) felt. Hopelessly in love with someone who didn't love them back. Or at least she thought Lucas didn't love her back. She looked over the gold railing to the ground five stories below. She heard the balcony door open again and knew they had fallowed her outside.

"Kitty will you listen to what Lucas is saying?" Trin asked of her. The brown eyed brunette didn't answer. "Then again," Trinity added nervously. "I take that back. Don't listen to anything else he says."
"Why shouldn't she? This bodies as much mine as it is his, and I hate the winch." Lucas voice came. Kitty didn't even have to look that the change had taken place, and in daylight too.

"Why do you always have to get in the way?" Sim growled. Lucas flipped her off. "You BASTARD!" Trinity started to hold the flaming oni back. Lucas walked up to Kitty, who still hadn't even looked at them all yet. He smiled baring his white fangs and hit her in the back of the neck.
She lost her balance and Trinity and Simoriah watched in astonishment as the brunette flipped over the railing. Her scream eventually stopped and another started. The three looked down to see Kitty's crumpled blooded body, and Cael screeching like a girl.
"Yes! The bitch is finally out of my life!" Lucas jumped up in cheer. This time Trin let go of the saiya-jin.

"Sis?" Cael bent down to his lifeless sister. He looked up at the railing where Sim was chasing a madly grinning vampire Lucas, and put one and three together.

"You..." dozens of profanities in both Saiyan, and English rang from the woman's mouth, and not Sim's either. Just then the ground began to shake knocking the three of the to the ground. When it stopped and the caught their bearings a five story high monster eyed the vampire.
"You killed Kitty," though the voice was demonic it was defiantly Cael's. Lucas swallowed as he watched the blue furred creature yank a tree from the orchard and use his teeth to sharpen it.

Trinity and Simoriah would have cheered him on, but they were too dumbfounded to even move. THIS was THEIR Caelestis, the harmless middle-aged kid that was constantly getting into trouble.
"Say Sim," Trinity finally got out, as the thing was ready to hurl the tree into Lucas' chest. "What do you think will happen if someone from heaven killed something out of anger? Even if it was evil?" The word "exile" ran through both of their minds. "Caelestis! No!" His monster eyes looked at the two ladies. He kept his arm cranked back ready to hurl the tree.
"Awwww..." his deep booming voice whined. "But he killed sis."
"Yes," Trin said in a calm tone. "And knowing Kitty she'll be back."
"Yeah," Sim agreed. "Besides." She glared at the cowering vamp who needed a change of pants. "I wanna kill him."
"Not before I can kill myself!" The mortal Lucas raged from the vampire's mouth. Slowly the left half of his body melded back to normal, while the other looked slightly surprised, then rolled its eyes.
"Now THAT is a dampire." Sim remarked.
"I thought I had gotten you over her." The vamp hissed.
"You weren't supposed to kill her you…" The rest of his sentence was cut off by their left fist swooshing to the right side. The vamp quickly reverted to normal as well. "Ow!" Lucas shouted holding his broken jaw.
"Are you sure he's a genius?" Cael asked already human again. How he got on the balcony was a mystery.
"Yes, but the Einstein type." Sim answered.
"Kit once explained it to me." Trin put in. "sometimes his thought process tries too hard to fit the square peg in the round hole." Lucas gave them all a pained look and went back into the palace.
"So," Cael peered over the railing. "Who gets to scrape her up?"
"We have people for that." Trin answered.
"Think there'll be enough left over for the funeral?" Sim asked.
"No, but she'll probably be back before then."
"True."
"What is she doesn't?" Cael snapped. "What if she can't find another body in time?" He was well aware of how reincarnating possession worked.
"Well, then she's screwed." Simoriah crossed her arms.
"If that were the case," Trin flipped some hair from her face. "Then you could just go and get her."
"It's not like hell Mrs. Karr. You can't just burst in and take someone back to the living. There's tons of paperwork involved."
"Then bring a pen."
"Gee, I never thought of that. That should make things much easier." Cael folded his arms across his chest.
"His very first sarcastic remark." Sim sniffled. "I'm so proud."
"Yes, oni-sama." Caelestis put his hands together and made a low bow. "You have taught me well."
"Ok, that's just pushing it."
Fin

A Heavenly Rescue Mission

Kitty gazed up at the white that was around her. Everything from her body to the room itself had an unearthly white glow about it. If you could actually call this a room that is. Nothing filled the hushed barrier within this holy realm. Only her spirit and the sensation of one other soul made itself known to her senses. The atmosphere now had a blue glow to it instead of it's earlier white. Kitty could hear a voice echo in the regions of her mind.
"Aminta," The whisper of a voice called. That wasn't her name, but she felt compelled to answer to it. She turned to look behind her and saw a majestic feminine spirit beckoning her. The lightening hair and ice like skin gave away the fact that she was the lightening-ice-stone.
"Lis," Kitty replied. "What am I doing back here?" Kitty had been in heaven many times before, but none of them were pleasure trips.
"You are no longer in the dominion of the living, Aminta."
"I'm dead? But how?"
"You were killed by an ex-love. You body was destroyed and you failed to find a new one within time, Aminta."
"Did I accomplish what I was put there to do?"
"No, Aminta."
"Why do you keep calling me that?"
"That is you name, and your ranking."
"Ranking? Oh no. Is this like heaven's military? No wonder the general likes it here."
"Aminta means protector, and you have yet to complete your mission to the living dominion. You were warned before, now you have no more chances. Prepare to suffer in your own hell." As Lis said that the room suddenly began to mold from blue to green and back again.
"No!" Another voice echoed.
"Caelestis?" Kitty shot her eyes toward him. He looked different in Heaven than he did on earth. He no longer wore glasses and was much more charismatic in his looks and movement. Of course, he DID grow up in this place, just as a bird grows up in the sky.
"What?" Lis turned to his outburst. "You dare defy our Lord's will?"
"It is not our Lord's will! He has given me my last request. We now share each other's destiny. For that, we together have more chances to fulfill our prophecies." Kitty couldn't understand a word of what he was saying, but she had a feeling it was good.
"You give your soul that easily? Do you realize that you shall also share the same fate?" Lis seemed stunned.
"Yes."
"Then so be it. You shall be restored."

When Lis said that a bright flash blinded them and Kitty found herself inside the covers of a bed, in a strange house, with Cael in the bed at her side. He seemed to be sleeping.
Her mind traveled back to what happened, it seemed, only moments ago. Cael just sacrificed his sure place in heaven for her. Why? They've only known each other for a few weeks.
She looked over at her brother again. He rolled over to where she could see his face. He looked as angelic now as he did before and seemed to be at total peace with himself.
Another figure came into her sight. She had long hair and didn't seem to notice Kitty watching her. The being shimmering features hovered over Cael's face. She gave him a peck on the cheek and began to whisper something in his ear. When Kit closed her eyes she could faintly make out what it was saying.
"Caelestis, thou art so naive, so willing, so sacrificing, so loyal. I shall always be watching you. Your love from above." The angel kissed him again and, when Kit opened her eyes, was gone.
Kitty sat up and pushed the covers from her body. Questions began cruising through her mind like a CD player with no stop button. She slipped her hands over her face as she tried to reason them all out.
"I died. I almost went to hell. Then Cael saved me. Now I'm back. Only I don't know where "back" is." She mumbled to herself.
"You're awake?" came a deep voice. A masculine silhouette stood at the stairway that must have lead out of this room. As the figure came closer Kitty realized that he was wearing a dress and make-up. "Thank Gawd. I thought I had lost you." He...she...whatever said walking up to her.
"Who are you?" Kit asked trying to be as polite as possible.
"I'm Mary-Sue Ellen." The person answered putting a pink nail polished hand on a little yellow flowered covered chest. Kitty finally deducted this was a man...or a very testosterone filled woman.
"Hi Ms. Ellen." Kit put her hand out for the mannish lady to shake.
"What sex ARE you?" Cael grunted as he sat up. The light from the window beside his bed glared in his eyes.
"Well I NEVER! I am a southern born lady." Ms. Ellen took on artificial offence. "That's what I tell everyone anyway." She smiled.
"Don't mind my brother." Kit apologized for him. "He's just...erm...new to hospitality. I'm Kitty."
"Hello Kitty, and don't be sorry. I get it often. How can a woman THIS beautiful be a real woman?" She went to the door. "I'll get you both some tea. Be back." With that she left.
"Are you SURE that was a woman?" Cael asked his sis.
"Don't think on it too much. Speaking of woman, who was the lady who visited you a few minutes ago?"
"Lady? Visiting me?" He shot up.
"Yeah. She had really long hair and called herself your "love from above" as corny as that sounds."
"Jasmine! She was HERE!"
"Yeah she kissed you and everything."
"She kissed me? DAMN IT! And I slept right through it!"
"Tea time!" Ms Ellen chirped bringing it in. She handed a glass to Kitty and one to Cael.
"Do you have a phone?" Kit asked.
"Yes, I believe I do."
"I need to make a call. I'm from the palace."
"I thought you looked familiar. Lady Madoc! But you were long dead."
"Lady Madoc? Oh. No. I'm not Sim. I'm just a friend of hers. Could I please borrow the phone?"
"Why most certainly." Ms. Ellen curtsied and left.
"Uh...sis..." Cael began.
"Not now." Kit replied as Ms. Ellen came back with the phone. "I have to call the palace." She started dialing.
"But sis..."
"Shhhh." She threw one finger over her lips. "Hello. This is Lady Kitty patch me through to the palace please...no this isn't a joke...yes I realize I'm dead...well was dead, but I'm not now...WELL SAME TO YOU BUDDY!" She slammed the phone down. "Damn telephone operators. We'll just have to go to the palace. Thank you Ms. Ellen but we have to go."
"Don't mention it. Anytime."

After Kitty and Cael arrived at the palace gates Burt was giving them a hard time.
"I'm telling you, I AM Kitty!"
"You look nothing like her."
"I know. I just came back from the dead. I'm gonna look different."
"Sis..." Cael kept trying to tell her.
"Not now." She snapped back.
"THAT'S MY BODY YOU BITCH." Sim shouted from inside.
"What?"
"I keep trying to tell you." Cael explained. "They had to give you the next available body."
"WHAT?" Kit replied again only a bit louder.
"IT WAS YOU!"
"You know this odd woman, Lady Madoc?" the guard asked her, puzzled.
"YES! KILL HER! BUT DON'T HARM THE BODY! IT'S MINE! I've been waiting for that body eve since you...er, Lex killed me and you stole it!"
"I DID NOT!"
"Uh...Ms. Madoc. I was the one who stole your body." Cael confessed
"Huh?"she stopped and looked at him
"I was the one who brought her back. I commissioned the bodies release. But I didn't know it was yours."
"Liar," she hissed through clenched teeth. "you've always had it in for me."
"What? I have not. I like you Ms. Madoc. If anything I've had a small crush on you." Cael argued.
"I have Sim's body?! AH! Now I have to use hair gel for the rest of my life!"
"I RESENT THAT!" Sim stood up taller, frowned, and jumped onto the guard's head "Why me?"
"Caelestis!" Kitty smacked him.
"Ow!"
"You didn't have to tell her that."
"Well I can't lie."
"Argh..." Kitty groaned at pouted.

"It was my body" Sim pouted
"Don't fret my pet, after you have the baby, I'll get you a new one." Shinigami assured her.
"THE WHAT?!" Trin screamed, picking up a knife.
"Oh yeah, I'm pregnant." Sim brushed her cousin aside.
"Again?" Kit responded. "Can't wait to see this one."
"Hey! You had the one who ran off on my daughter's wedding!"
"Mage wasn't mine! He was Madi's!" Kit argued.
"CLOSE ENOUGH!"
"AND YOU'RE ONIKO HURT HIM PLENTY OF TIMES FIRST!"
"MIGHT I ADD, HE LIKED IT!"
"She was a bitch! Like mother like daughter!" She got into Sim's face.
"Listen here, you body snatcher..." Sim hissed before Trin split them up.
"BODY SNATCHER! IF YOU WEREN'T IMPREGNATED BY SATAN I'D...!"
"MABEY I LIKE SATAN!" Sim shouted over Trin.
"This is getting distressingly personal here." Shini put in.
"But out of this! You've possessed me WAY too many times to have ANY input in this conversation!" She turned to Sim. "AS WELL YOU SHOULD!"
"Oooh. Ouch. That hurt." Sim replied flatly. With that Kitty took a swing at Sim's face. Sim ducked and moved behind Shini.
"No fair! That's MY body and I'm going to have a baby!" she protested
"Who said anything about fair, oban!" Kit took another swing only this one hit...Shini.
"This works." Sim nodded.
"ARGHA!" She lunged at Sim again knocking her to the floor.
"Sis! Wait! You might kill the baby!" Cael argued.
"You go girl!" Trin cheered when she heard him say that.
It took everyone in the room to pry Kitty off Simoriah.
"LET ME KILL HER YOU BASTARDS FROM HELL!" Kitty shouted.
"Not good. Not good." Shini chanted.
Cael walked over and slapped his sister hoping to get her out of the rage.
After a long pause, she kicked him with her free foot making everyone hold her down even harder.
"Sis..." Cael tried to reason.
"No! You just shut-up! I don't want this! I would rather have gone to my own personal HELL than have come back here! WHAT WAS I THINKING!"
"Maybe this IS your own personal hell....it sure is mine." Sim muttered.
"Sis...are you ok?" He went on.
"Am I ok? AM I OK?! OF COURSE I'M OK! I'M FINE! NEVER BEEN BETTER!" She ignored Sim's remark.
Sim clutched Shini's hand...an unusual gesture. Kitty managed to break free of everyone's grasp and went for Sim again only to be stopped by Shinigami's fist. It knocked her out cold.
"YAY!" Sim hugged him.
"What was wrong with sis?" Cael was worried now. He'd never seen his sister behave like this, though Sim had.
"I don't know." Trin admitted.
"She's got it bad this time." Sim still hung onto Shini.
"Got what bad?" Cael asked her.
"Let me put this is laymen's terms foe ya." Sim draped an arm around his shoulder. "I'm pregnant. And that body was made for me.... to be pregnant. She has a body full of hormones and no baby."
"Oh."
"Yeah, and she's psycho with those hormones." Trin put in understanding.
"Did it with Madi too." Hatch added walking in. Tsvantoor was close behind him.
"Ugh..." Kitty began to moan.
"Shit!" Sim jumped behind Shini again. "She's coming to! Alert the bomb squad!" she shrieked, cutting off the circulation to Shinigami's arm
"What in hell?...This is hell right?"
"No." Trin answered her.
"Damn! I could've handled hell."
"Whoa...she scared mom." Tsvantoor observed.
"I'm sorry Sim." Kitty replied running up and hugging her. "You're my best friend. I never would want to really hurt you." Her voice sounded on the verge of crying.
"No touchie! No touchie!" Sim attempted to jumped back "No touch." she motioned with her hands. Shini smacked himself on the forehead.
"I love you!" Kitty squeezed even harder. They had to pry Kit off the oni again.
"Geeze the baby isn't supposed to come out YET" Sim grumbled dusting off where Kitty had hugged her. Kitty's face turned red as she suppressed her tears. She sniffled as everyone gave each other weary looks.
"She's going to blow" Trin mouthed as everyone backed away slowly. Kitty started giggling.
"Uh..." Cael grew nervous. "Sis...maybe we should get you some help...maybe some sleep?"
"Sleep? I can't sleep! I've got WAY too much energy for that! Oh and Sim," she smiled and walked up to her. "I was only kidding about the whole "I would never hurt you" thing." The smile went evil and she attacked once again.
"I don't know who needs these things more," Hatch wondered as he pulled out a bottle of pills. "Me or Mom."
"Get this baka off me!" Sim yelled as the rest jerked Kitty away.
"We're gonna have to keep her tied up until the baby gets here." Trin stated.
"Or intoxicated." Shini scoffed.
"You'll never hear the last of me Sim! I WILL be back!" Kitty snickered as they drug her off.
"Crap."
"Why don't they ever stay dead?" Tsvantoor asked coming up to stand beside his mother.
"Because.... I dunno. I guess we're like roaches or something...Tsvantoor?"
"Yes?"
"I want food."
Fin/OWARI

Damn Loyalty

"You will never make me talk!" Kitty shouted from her cell. They had to keep her locked up because of her unsuccessful assassination attempts on…well…everybody.
"Please, that's what we're trying to avoid." Sim snorted. Despite everything she kept visiting the raving body stealer. "Damn loyalty"she thought to herself.
"GO AHEAD! TOURTURE ME! Hey...that might be fun!" Kitty rang out again.
"It's not worth it." Sim decided as she turned to leave.
"Oh no you don't." Trin scolded, pushing her back through the door and locking it.
"Damn."
"You're stuck with me." Kit grinned.
"THIS ISN'T FAIR!" Sim banged against the door "THERE ARE WOMEN AND CHILDREN IN HERE!"
"Women, children, and a really BIG steak knife." She pulled a blade from the collar of her straight jacket with her teeth.
"Where the HELL did you get that?!" Sim shouted snatching it from her.
"I needed it." Kit shrugged.
"What for?..wait...don't answer that."
"I needed it," Kitty went on. "To cut myself loose." That's when Ms. Houdini stood up and her straight jacket fell to the floor.
"SHIT!"
"Don't worry partner," Kit whispered to Sim with an audible western accent. "I'll git ya outta here in a jiff." She walked up to the gate. She slipped her hand through the bars with her left and pulled out a hairpin with her right. As she placed the pin in her left and started to unlock the gate. That was when Sim realized that Kitty couldn't be contained no matter WHAT they did.
"Ah hell. We're all screwed!"
"Shit! A marshal!" Kitty dashed back into the cell and hurriedly got her jacket back on. Neo came in and leaned against the wall.
"Hatchet wants to know what you want to eat." he replied to Kitty.
"Raw liver!"
"Gotcha." With that he began to leave.
"If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?" Kitty asked herself the accent now gone. It sounded much like something Reiki would say. In fact, the voice sounded like her too.
"Kitty?" Sim muttered wondering if the fiery cross dressing redhead had once again come back from the dead.
"What?"
"Just checking."
"Whatever." Kitty rolled her eyes at Sim obnoxiously.
"You know I don't HAVE to come down here day after day!" Sim argued forgetting for a moment what happened last time she and Kitty picked a fight.
"Yes you do."
"Ok, so I do, but I don't have to like it!"
"You like it?"
"Yes!...No!...STOP MAKING ME BE NICE!"
"Forget it. Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time..." She stopped a minute. "I think I've forgotten this before."
"All I want to know is who the man is that looked at a cow and said "I think I'll drink from whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them." Came Hatch's voice. He was talking to Tsvantoor.
"Hey mom." They said at the same time...only to two different people.
"Neo just told me you wanted raw liver." Hatch stated.
"YES! AND A LAMP FOR SACRIFICE!"
"You mean lamb, mom."
"NO! A LAMB WOULD NOT GIVE OFF THE HOLY LIGHT!"
"Can I leave with you guys?" Sim asked them.
"Who put you in here?"
"It was probably a monkey."
"Why do you say that?"
"Well, I thought we were all monkeys at one time..."
"You gotta lay off that Darwin man."
"But it's so rich and tomatoie!" Kit called out.
"Yeah. You can leave with us." Hatch gave in.
"YES! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! YOU'RE WONDERFUL!" Sim bowed to him and kissed his boot. Kitty took the opportunity to kick oni in the ass. Sim picked herself up and brushed the dust smudge from her nose...
"Give the bitch her liver. Every psycho deserves a last meal."
"HEY!" Hatch always seemed to take the word "psycho" personally. "We prefer mentally handicap."
Sim hissed at him and walked out, kicking her feet like a cat burying their shit.
"Tsvan can you stay with mom 'til lunch?" Hatch asked him.
"Yeah!" Kitty shouted. "We'll get along just fine as soon as you realize I'm God"
"Can't she watch herself?" Tsvantoor asked them.
"C'mon man, I did that..." He looked at Sim. "Um...thing for you."
"Thing?" Sim got suspicious. "What thing?"
"Nothing my little Simbunny." Hatch rapped his arms around her and tried to lead her out.

"One down. " Sim dropped an unconscious body on the dinning room table.
"What the?" Hatchet examined the victim. "Mage?!"
"I had the ol' hunting lust." Proud of herself, Sim smiled.
"You're sick." Trinity shook her head as she checked for vital signs.
A very high-pitched scream came from up stairs fallowing Page grabbing the railing to keep herself from overshooting onto the stairs.
"NO DAMN WAY!" She yelled. "NO GOD DAMN WAY!"
"Calm down" Gelf HB called after her.
"I CAN'T HAVE A BABY! I'M STERILE!"
"To error is human."
"That's comforting."
"You're pregnant?" Kitty said stunned. Shini and Jaga were holding her so she wouldn't try anything funny.
"Who's the father?" Trin asked. That's when Gelf backed away a little.
"Oh. Someone's going down." Sim cracked her knuckles.
Gelf turned into a scarlet hue and swallowed.
"Sim...I...I...." he stuttered as she moved toward him. Suddenly she grabbed him in a hug.
"CONGRATULATIONS!"
"Really?" He seemed confused.
"YEAH! Oh, and by the way, you're fired."
"Damn."
"I should have known it when he told me he could be 'equipped'." Sim muttered.
"This is the house of L-O-V-E!" Jaga burst out. Everyone looked at him.
"We're all pregnant here!" he tried again. Still they all just looked at him.
"Well none of you guys were saying anything."
"But...but...DAMN!" Page ran down the stairs and out of the palace.
"It's okay, Mom." Tsvantoor put a hand on her shoulder. She turned on him.
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU MADE HIM WITH...WITH...PARTS!!!"
"Why are you getting so upset?" Kitty wondered, "I'm the great-grandma."
"I feel responsible. Okay."
"For what? Hell now Page HAS to stop sleeping with EVERY man in the castle."
"Even when she's nuts she sees the glass half-full." Lucas snorted from the doorway. It made almost everyone jump.
Sim lunged at him She was jerked back by the collar by an ever present Hiiro.
"Let Kitty have this one." he whispered in her ear.
"You BASTARD!" Kitty yelled breaking from (actually they let her go) Shini and Jaga's grasps.
"You know it takes a special kind of stupid to come back after you kill someone and they return from the dead." Hatch determined as he too pulled Kitty back.

Profanities flew until Kitty realized this was the mortal Lucas...though that didn't change anything.
"LET ME KILL THE BASTARD! IT'S ONLY FAIR."
"YEAH!" Sim cheered her on, handing her a knife.
"I can't do that." Hatch declared. "I made a promise to Cael before he left."
"Cael left? I hadn't noticed." Trin proclaimed.
"Since when have YOU kept a promise?" Kitty sneered.
"I resent that."
"Guys will you relax? I'm as pissed as everyone else." Lucas crossed his arms. "I came back so you could cure me."
"What?"
"You heard me. I want this bastard out. He's done nothing but torture me, and sleep with dozens of women."
"And that's a bad thing because?" Shini asked him. Sim would have hit him if he were close enough.
"YOU'RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TONITE." She warned him. "So many people to kill. So little time." Sim rubbed her hands together "Who should go first? Lucas? Maybe Gelf? Kitty might be fun." Shini slung her over his shoulder and carried her off, mumbling apologies as she rambled psychotically.
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil." Kitty murmured to herself. She then threw Hatch off of her and ran for Lucas. His blue eyes widened and he jumped out of her way when she lunged.
"OW!" Kitty yelled peeling herself off the wall.
"Serves you right," Lucas growled.
"Serves ME right!? You killed me!" Kitty half staggered over to him and looked fiercely into his eyes.
"You've tried to kill me too!"
"Yes but I never succeeded!"
"I didn't WANT to kill you!"
"A little late now BUCKO!"
"I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO WANT TO KILL YOU AND YOU KNOW IT!" Lucas rebutted.
"Anybody want some popcorn?" Hatch offered. He got five takers.
"I LOVE YOU TOO BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP YOU, SO IT'S NOT GONNA STOP ME EITHER!"
"I FEEL TERRIBLE ABOUT KILLING YOU!"
"WELL YOU SHOULD!"
"I'M SORRY!"
"APOLOGY ACCEPTED!" Steaming, they both crossed their arms and leaned against each other's backs in defiance.
"Just like old times," Page sighed. She had come in at some point or another, but no one had noticed.
"Kisama," Kitty muttered to Page in Japanese.
At the same time Lucas growled, "Kuso tare." The two faced each other again.
"Sou ne?" Kitty wondered in the same tongue as before.
"Hai. Baka mitai." Lucas answered her.
"ONORE!"
"OBAN!"
"IKUZO!" Half the people in the room had no idea what they were saying to each other, but everyone got the hint when Kitty snatched one of the display swords from the wall. "SHINE!"
"Sayonara," Lucas grabbed the other one.
Kitty lunged once again with a death cry as her features began to change. Her skin began turning a maroon red, her ears turned into Elvin ears and she grew fangs (not to mention a dragon tail and violet horns).
Her astonishing transformation wasn't alone. Lucas took on his vampire form; this half of him was more than willing to kill Kitty again.
"WATASHI WA SHINANI!" Kitty's mauve eyes glared at his ice blue ones. CLANK "I'VE BECOME MORE POWERFULL THAN YOU WILL EVER BE!" Her voice sounded deeper, more evil. CLINK
"We'll see." SHLACK KINK
Lucas and Kitty spat more threats and cut-downs to each other, and used some awesome looking moves to thwart the other. It was a great show. That's when the raging Sim came back in, but no one seemed to notice her. They were all watching the death match in their living room.
"What the hell is that?" Sim shouted seeing the dragon-hybrid fight the vampire.
"That," Trin began to explain while she grabbed a handful of the popcorn Hatch had brought in. "Is Kitty." Sim looked the monster up and down as it smacked Lucas with its clawed feet and spined tail in one fluid motion. The vamp was knocked down.
"No way!"
"Give it up boy. You have no idea what you're dealing with." Kit growled. "If you weren't so damn cute I slap your face so hard your skin would shatter."
"Now that's Kitty." Sim admitted. She grabbed a handful of popcorn as the battle continued. Kit's tail swept over their heads, unfortunately Sim didn't duck fast enough and got throw across the courtyard
"What a rush" she smiled dizzily, before passing out.
Gelf poked his head around the corner
"Is it safe to come out?" he asked trinity
"Depends, safe from Kitty and Lucas or safe from Sim?"
"Sim." She motioned over to her unconscious body. He got the hint.
"Tell me, pond scum." Kitty hissed at Lucas while they dueled it out. "Why is it you're after me?"
"Because you have the cure. And that is a threat to my very existence." He answered her calmly as she swiped his shirt.
"You idiot!" She shouted as he twisted making his sword whip over her head when she ducked. "That was the OLD body. Lex has it now."
"That's not the cure." KLACK His swords was stopped with hers. "The cure is your soul." CLICK CLACK ZING "The soul fuels your blood." SWISH "So I will never be safe until it's destroyed."
"I've had enough of this." Kitty rolled her purple eyes. She tossed her sword down and backhanded Lucas with her scaled hand. That was all it took to knock him out.
"Damn." hatch commented, still munching. Slowly her body changed back to what it started with.
"Gee that was fun." Sim stumbled toward them, holding er head. "What happened while I was out?"
"Kitty kicked ass." Trin informed calmly.
"Oh. Way to go." she punched Kit playfully on the arm and fell backwards unconscious again.
"It's impossible to keep this place clean." hatch sighed and bent to pick her up.
"Damn. She's put on some weight, Gelf..."
"HB."
"Okay, Gelf HB, can you give me a hand?"
"Sure."

"Maybe now we can actually HAVE dinner." Hatch brought out the entrées with the help of Jaga and Trin. Kitty was tied to her chair in much the method they used to use on Hatchet. Mage hadn't spoken one word since Sim brought him back, and the tension was fierce between him and Oniko.
Sim wasn't quite herself. She sat face down in the entree'.
"OK!" Kitty yelled into the silence. Enough was enough. "Now this has GOT to stop!" She looked to Mage. "Why the hell did you leave and where did you go?" He didn't answer her. "SPILL IT!" Still nothing, but his face did turn a lovely shade of scarlet.
"Waaaa!" Oniko burst into tears. "Mervin hates me!"
"Shut up, you horned bitch! I didn't say it was your turn to speak!" Kit snapped. She turned to mage as best she could.
"Now. You will explain to us why you left. We're all dieing to know." she gave a fanged smile.
Mage opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He closed it again and gave Kitty a harsh "ya happy?" glare.
"Answer my question all ready!"
"Kit," Trin glanced from Mage to her. "I don't think he can talk." When she said that Mage hit the table and pointed in Trin's direction.
"So! That doesn't make him exempt from my question." Kitty looked up like she was searching her brain. "Whatever it was."
"So Murray doesn't hate me?" Oniko sniffled. Mage gave her a warm grin.
"Of course he hates you!" Kit exclaimed. "We all hate you, you priss!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Oniko jumped from the table crying. Mage fallowed her, while everyone else gave Kitty cold glares.
"What?"
"You bitch." Shini said what everybody was thinking.
"You of all people have NO right calling me that, you murdering bastard. Tell me, was it fun possessing me all those times? Or do you just enjoy being a woman?"
"I would hardly call you a woman, and besides, I only did it because I was trying to get my queen…and ruin your life…but I've changed. When Lex ripped my powers from me it made me revert."
"HA! Once evil always evil! And I should know. When the chickens took over my brain I saw the darkside. And I have never looked back Luke Skywalker. Heeee ahhhh. Join me on the other side my son." She said the last line with her hand cupped over her mouth.
"Was I ANYTHING like that when I was nuts?" Hatch asked his sister.
"Yes." Madi answered bluntly.
"Damn…no WONDER you guys kept me tied up."
"And now we keep you drugged up." Madi added.
Fin/OWARI



Caelestis

"Well," Cael stood up after quickly downing his breakfast. "I'm off." He grabbed up his bag and made a quick sandwich of eggs, toast, and bacon. "Make sure sis doesn't kill any one."
"Ha ha ha." She snapped dryly. He grinned and left.
"Hey guys." Trin began after swallowing her newest craving, dry toast covered in chocolate pudding. "You ever wonder what Cael does all day?"
"Not really." Sim retorted dunking her banana éclair into her mocha chino.

Cael stepped briskly down the sidewalk. He could see a teenage boy with light brown hair walking on the walk about to merge with his.
"Sup Cael?" The boy high-fived him when they met. Cael handed him the sandwich. "Ooo, munchies. Thanks man."
"No, problem, Stogy." Cael grinned. They walked a bit further in silence as Stog ate the sandwich.
"This' really good, dude." Stog muffled through his stuffed mouth. He swallowed it down. "Who cooks at your house?"
"My nephew, Hatchet."
"Hatchet? As in Lady Kitty's son Hatchet?"
"Yeah."
"Dude! You never told me you were royalty!"
"Never came up." Cael shrugged. "Besides, I wouldn't say I'm 'royalty'. I just live in the palace that's all."
"You live in the palace?!" came a feminine voice. "Get out!"
"Hey Leslie." Cael moved to the other side of his friend so he wouldn't be traveling next to her as she caught up. "Do ya really live in the palace?"
"Yes."
"No way! I don't believe you!"
"Ok," Cael shrugged as they approached their destination. Tenen'un High school. The yard was all ready bustling with kids.

The three shuffled into one classroom Leslie making sure she got to sit next to Cael. He shifted in his seat a bit but decided to try and look cool.
"Hello class!" Ms. Ellen (yes THAT Ms. Ellen) came in and placed her things on her desk.
"Hello Ms. Ellen." The room chimed.
"I trust everyone knows what day this is?"
"Friday!" they cheered.
"That's right. And does everyone remember what we DO on Friday?"
"Hands on!" This was one well-trained classroom.
"Exactly. I want everyone to get your lab coats because today we're going to dissect a pig!"
"Ewwww!" Came the response.
"What does dissect mean?" Cael whispered over to Stogy.
"We're gonna cut the sucker open and pull out it's insides, man." He answered. "It's gonna be great."
"Sounds violent and unnecessary."
"I know." Stog snickered.
"C'mon. You're my lab partner!" Leslie snatched Cael from his seat and dragged him behind her.
"Actually I was hoping…" He didn't finish when he saw Stog chatting up a really cute girl in their class.
"Here put this on." She stuffed an apron, gloves, and goggles into Cael's arms. He did as commanded. "Ok. Now go get a pig." She shooed him away.
"Why me?"
"Because you're the man. You're supposed to like all this gory stuff." She answered him.
"I personally find this pointless and degrading." The told her but went for the preserved piglet anyway.
"OK!" Leslie proclaimed as he put the slimly creature onto the table. "Take this and cut the baby open." She handed him the scalpel.
"I refuse. This is against my religion." Cael complained.
"Religion? HA! Fine!" She snatched the knife away, though now he wasn't too sure if he liked her having a sharp object. "I'll do it, you wimp."
Cael stuck his tongue out with disgust as she carved into the thing's stomach. The smell was absolutely revolting. Then she began to peel the skin away. KATHUMP
"Cael?" she turned around to see his pale face smashed into the floor.

Caelestis awoke to a slight breeze in his skin. When he opened his brown eyes he saw Ms. Ellen waving a folder in front of him.
"Are you ok?" she asked him. He sat up and took a weary glance at the operating table. "Don't worry we cleaned all that up. You were out for the whole experiment." He could hear the kids snickering at their desks. He smiled too, not exactly sure what the joke was all about, and returned to his seat.
Class began to go on as usual when he saw a figure in the window. Looking again he didn't see anyone, but he could still feel the presence of another being. One like him. The bell rang for lunch and as the rest of the kids hurried out he lingered hoping to see the person again.
"Dude, let's go." Stog pushed his arm. Cael stood up and left with his two friends still looking at the window.

At lunch Cael, Stog, and Leslie found a nice tree to eat their food under. It was a beautiful day, and everyone was eating outside. Halfway into the conversation of 'who was a tougher historical character, Vegita or Freeza', Cael saw the figures shadow in the grass. He leapt to his feet just in time to become face to face with his arch nemesis.
"Hello Caelestis." The black haired man grinned.
"What do you want?" Cael spat at him.
"What do I want? Caelestis you should know better." He plucked a dogwood blossom from the tree and sniffed it. "I don't want anything more than I've ever wanted from you." He was very suave about the whole thing, too bad Cael wasn't.
"Then leave." Cael growled. Stogy stood up and glared at the man who was ticking off his best friend.
"Who's this?" he asked.
"Doesn't matter." Cael answered him. "He's going to be gone soon."
"Oh really?" the man smiled once again. "I don't think so." That's when he began to morph. Cael was about to join him when he remembered all the others who would see him. He was trying to keep a low profile after all. Instead he unsheathed a katana he kept hidden in his leather jacket. It's blade glistened in the sun as he took a fighting stance. The creature that was once a man gazed down at him.
"So," his deep voice bellowed. "You refuse to fight me in you true form, eh?"
"It's not my true form, you bastard!" Cael yelled up to it. "It's a curse YOU put on me! As long as I can control it, I'll never risk becoming like you!" The creature started laughing.
"Fool! Don't you understand? I never cursed you. I merely showed you what you really were, a demon, like me!"
"No! Not like you! I am a mercenary! I sacrificed that part of me long ago! When I helped my sister, I destroyed the power YOU gave me, Lucifer! And I don't want it back!"
"Ha ha ha ha haaa! Cretan! You can never destroy evil! You can only contain it! One day I will take you, just as I have taken Jasmine!"
"Jasmine? What have you done with her?!"
"Another time. Another time." With that the monster vanished, and Cael put his weapon away.
"And you fainted at the sight of me cutting the pig." Leslie shook her head.
Fin



Time: two days before Lucas killed Kitty Place: the badguys place Topic:
Life with Lex
Our story began on the Destroyer; Lex was sitting at her command post shouting at her minions.
"WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG?!" She screeched to one of the many men in black high-tech armour. "WE SOULD HAVE FOUND THE ENDURANCE BY NOW!"
"I'm sorry, masteress, but they hid it too well."
"WHAT! I will not REST until that ship is found and destroyed!"
"Yes, masteress." He answered her solemnly and continued his radar search.
"Masteress Lex." Someone said from behind her. She turned to see one of her many creations of mass destruction.
"What do you want Lucas?" she growled as he tucked a white strand of hair behind his ear.
"There's a breach in sector four." He reported.
"On screen!" The screen flickered on and she could see a figure breaking out of one of the cells.
"The boy who helped hide the ship." She said to herself.
"Shall I recapture him?" Lucas offered.
"No, I want him to think he's actually escaping. He's doing just as I predicted. PREPARE THE MORPHING CHAMBER!" the Controller commanded her cronies. They jumped to response. Lex slid out of her chair and walked to the bridge door motioning for Lucas to fallow. He did making sure to not stand taller than her.
Making their way through the corridors her crew fell to the floor at her presence. They were worshiping her, which was really good for her ego. Lex walked into the morphing chamber and waved for them not to bow.
"Make me look like some one he trusts, some one who would come and…rescue him." She said with her usual superior heir.
"Yes masteress." One of the wizards bowed. He chanted a few words and Lex could feel herself changing.
"Finished masteress." Lex smiled as he said that and looked into the mirror behind her.
"YOU IDIOT!" she flamed indicating her horns and green hair. "I said some one who would RESCUE HIM! Not the woman HE LOVES…ah well…you work with what you have I suppose." As she said that it didn't sound like she were referring to her appearance. "Now to interrogate the prisoner." She brushed past the android on her way out. "On second thought…Lucas!"
"Yes masteress?"
"I want you to capture me."
"Yes masteress."

Lex hung shackled on the wall. Her new face was covered in cuts and bruises; most of which she inflicted upon herself. She let her head hang limp and her eyes close when she heard someone coming.
"Oniko." Came a whisper. "Oniko." The second time it was a bit louder.
"M-mage?" Lex replied feebly as she felt herself being let down.
"You remembered my name." Mage smiled when she opened her eyes to look at him.
"I guess so."
"C'mon let's get you out of here." He helped her walk out of the cell.
"Oh, Mage, they did terrible things to me in there. They kept asking me where the Endurance was. I told them I didn't know. They said you would have told me. I told them you hadn't. But they didn't believe me."
"Those bastards." He kissed her forehead. "I'll get you out of here ok?"
"Where IS the Endurance any way?" Lex tried to gouge out of him.
"Why do you want to know? They could torture it out of you then."
"Yes, but then I could tell them I know and you could escape." When Lex said that Mage let go of her.
"That's very self sacrificing of you." He said suspiciously.
"I love you, Mage. I'd do anything at this point. Even blow my own brains out if it meant you could live."
"That's the third time you've remembered my name." Mage raised an eyebrow. He was beginning to see through the disguise.
"You don't believe it's me." Lex sounded shocked. "After all this. After you left the wedding I fallowed you. Then they saw me when they got you and said I knew stuff. But I didn't know anything, but I held out 'cause I knew you'd come and get me. Because we love each other, like Lucas and Kitty."
"Please don't jinx it." Mage went up and hugged her. "I'm sorry I doubted it was you."
"Ok, now if you just tell me where the Endurance is." Mage let go of her and leapt back.
"AH HA! Who are you to toy with my heart? I know you're not the REAL Oniko! So come clean!"
"Damn." Lex snapped her fingers and a lot of guards bounded in. "TAKE HIM BACK TO THE TORTURE CHAMBER!" They swiftly grabbed him a dragged Mage away. Lex rubbed her temples. "This is so headache forming."
"Shall I make it better, masteress?" Lucas asked from behind.
"Perhaps later." She gave him a passionate kiss and headed back to the morphing chamber.

Lex walked back into the room with the bounded Mage.
"What am I to do with you? I've drugged you, tortured you, even played with your mind and you still wont talk to me." Lex sighed.
"That's because you're a psycho." Mage growled. "And egotistical ass who only cares about unlimited power. You've had my mother stolen from grandma and you almost killed dad taking away his powers. I have no reason to do ANYTHING you say." It was a warm speech but it only made Lex angry.
"Very well." She sneered. "If you will not confide in me then you wont be confiding on anyone EVER!" She flicked her wrist and as Mage was about to retort he found he couldn't speak.
"KILL HIM!" Lex commanded on her way out. She gave Lucas a weary look and sighed. "It's so hard to find willing adversaries these days."
Fin



Shock know-how

"I-I can't believe it!" Page exclaimed. "I have a living being in my STOMACH! This means I'll have to quit, drinking, getting high, sleeping with random men, HAVING A DAMN LIFE!"
"You know this effects me too." GelfHB reasoned with her, only more on his own terms.
"To HELL if it effects you! YOU DON'T HAVE A GROWING HUMAN CHILD IN YOUR LOINS!"
"How do you know it's human? I'm not human, and we don't know if you are fully human either."
"DAMN IT! STOP COMPLICATING THE FACT THAT I'M PREGNANT!"
"I wasn't…never mind."
"YOU WEREN'T WHAT? GO AHEAD FINISH YOUR SENTENCE FOR GOD'S SAKE!"
"No. You'll get all bent out of shape."
"Bent out of shape! I wouldn't get bent out of shape! HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO MAGE?"
"Mage isn't able to speak."
"SO!" At that Gelf stood up from the bed they were both sitting on, and walked to the door. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?"
"Somewhere without you in it." He muttered and left.
"BASTARD!" Page threw a pillow at the door as it shut. She could have thrown something harder but at this point it was sailing for his head so fast it wouldn't matter…she may have even dented the door. "Why does this crap happen to me?"
"Why does it happen to any of us?" a voice asked from the window. She looked outside and saw Lucas peering from outside.
"Grandpa." Page whined as she watched him climb in. "We're on the third story."
"I know." He grinned showing his fangs.
"Why are you here? Everyone's after you 'cause you killed grandma."
"I know that too."
"Then answer my question." Page didn't raise her voice, but she did sound as tired as she felt.
"You're the only one who hasn't shunned me yet, I'm now inclined to make you feel better."
"Gee, how thoughtful of you." Page fell back onto her divan as Lucas came to sit on the edge. Not surprisingly the only furniture in her room was the king sized bed.
"Hey, I'm not a complete egotistical jerk. Just a typical vampire that's all." He replied.
"Then how come you're acting like Grandpa and not the evil counterpart?"
"Because I don't have an evil counterpart." Lucas confessed.
"WHAT?" Page shot up and looked at him with wide eyes.
"You've been FAKING IT?"
"NO! It's just that…well…after he killed Kit I've been able to control him better. Now I can be in the vampire form and not be…him."
"That's amazing! Why haven't you told everyone else?"
"Because everyone hates me so much that I don't think they'd believe me."
"Sure they would! I do!"
"Yeah, but you don't hold a mean grudge like Sim and Kit. It's mainly because of them I haven't come out. I'm sure even Trin has forgiven me by now."
"Yeah, that's true. It's not like Grandma dieing was a TOTAL loss or anything."
"He he…yeah."
"Wait a minute! I thought you came in here to make ME feel better!"
"I did. It just sorta switched on us." Page started laughing.
"Then again, maybe it didn't." she smiled and hugged him.
"Uh…Page…" Lucas replied when she didn't let go. "Could you get your neck farther away from my mouth, please."
"Sorry," Page backed off.
"Thanks."
"You!" Kitty exclaimed at the door. "What the hell are YOU doing here?"
"Grandma, he was helping me."
"Helping you what? Make a pact to the devil for your first born?"
"Grandma! He came here to make me feel better!"
"Better? HA! He probably wants to infect you so your child will be born a dampire like him!"
"That is NOT true!" Lucas flared as he stood up. "I showed up when I heard Page was pregnant and was going to give my blessing, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"
"Your 'blessing' isn't welcome here reprobate! You have no right!"
"Who says? You? I'll have you know I've raised more kids than YOU have in both of our lifetimes! It's YOU who has no right!" Lucas hissed. Kitty's face turned red with anger, but she didn't say anything else to him. "Well aren't you going to retaliate with some cold-blooded cut down?" he snarled.
"No." Kit's features softened and her face returned to its normal colour. "You win." She asserted softly.
"I do? Really? Are you feeling ok?"
"I'm fine Lucas…I just don't feel like fighting that's all." Kit grinned at him. Page got a concerned feeling in her stomach. It seemed even the baby knew this wasn't her grandma's style.
"If you want I'll leave you two alone." She offered. Then Page knew for certain she was acting strange.
"No, it's ok. Grandpa was about to leave anyway." Page replied giving him a wary look. He complied by bowing and leaping from the window.
"I came here to talk to you." Kitty took the seat that everyone else had been using.
"About what?"
"Anything. I figured I could answer questions."
"Ok." That's just what Page wanted to hear. "How do you know when you're ready to be a mom?"
"You don't." Kit replied after a few moments of contemplation. "It's just kinda thrown on you." Well at least she was honest.
"So you're NEVER ready?"
"I didn't say that. When the baby comes, you're ready then…you have to be."
"That's not very comforting."
"Life's not comforting."
"Would you mind if I got a second opinion?"
"Go ahead." Kitty got up. That's when Page expected her to say 'But you know I'm right.' or 'But you know it's the truth.'
"I could be wrong." Came the unexpected answer. At that Kit left her alone. Page didn't know whether to ask about motherhood, or about her Grandma's mental health.
Fin



Dormant Curses

"You think Mom's ok?" Hatch asked his sister Madison. They were very close, but sometimes Hatch wished Madi would hang out with other people besides him. Not that he didn't appreciate her dedication to him; it's just that Madi didn't have any other friends in the castle. Even though he was a nut he managed to make buddies, why shouldn't she?
"Yeah, why?" Madi answered him, though it didn't seem like she was paying attention.
"She's been acting…funny."
"She always acted funny."
"Yeah, but never like this…she's so, so…"
"Calm?"
"Yeah."
"I asked Trinity about it, she said it was a side-effect of the hormone sedative."
"Side-effect? If it's a tranquilizer then that's what it's supposed to do anyway."
"Knowing Kitty she'll figure a way around it. She'll probably start chanting about flower power or something next."
"Why can't you call her mom?" Hatch wondered as he dropped some ginger onto the cat fish.
"Because she's not my mother."
"She gave birth to you."
"That doesn't make her my mother. Why do you call her mom?"
"Because she's been more of a mom to me then my real one." At first Madison didn't answer him.
"What are we having for dinner today?"
"Trey Cha K'Nyei."
"What?"
"Ginger Catfish." Hatch laughed. "You know, some people believe that ginger has medicinal qualities and that it heats up the head and the whole system to make you feel better. Great for colds."
"I'll keep that in mind, next time I have the flu, and make sure to mix ginger in with my bourbon and Nyquil."
"Very funny, Madi." Hatch gave a half grin.

When dinner was all set Tsvantoor and Madi helped him bring the food to the table.
"Chinese." Sim replied. "Just what I was craving!"
"Actually it's Cambodian." He corrected. "Trey Cha K'nyei, S'ngao B'kong, Bai Laen Saik Krok, and Nyuom Trausak."
"What?" Everyone said in unison.
"Ginger catfish, lobster soup with lime, fried rice with pork sausage, and cucumber salad." He explained in almost a sigh.
"Why didn't you say that in the first place?"
"I…never mind. I just hope you all like it." It was times like these he regretted being a genius chef.
No one bothered to thank him after they ate their fill, they never do. After the diners left guess who was left with the dishes?
"They never show their appreciation for everything I do." Hatch muttered to himself as he took an armful of dirty dishes to the sink. "I don't have any kitchen help. I slave in front of the stove day after day and for what? To relax for a hour or so and watch them stuff their mouths and complain about their lives?" He turned on the automatic scrubber he invented not too long ago and fed one dish after the other into it. "We all live in the same place y'know. By the time breakfast lunch and dinner start everyone knows what happened to everyone else and they either bitch to each other or eat in awkward silence leaving me to be the only one even trying to be optimistic about everything. I CAN'T BE MR. HAPPY ALL THE TIME!"
"I don't even want to know what that's about," Tsvan remarked. He must have just come in at the Mr. Happy part.
"Eh. No biggie. Having my once a day rant that's all. You want something?"
"What? I can't come talk to my best bud without wanting something?"
"Yes."
"You're right. I need help with this new design. Lucas came to me last night and gave me these plans to a machine that can map out the DNA of blood and isolate the gene that cures vampirism, but I can't even read the damn thing."
"Lemmie see." Tsvantoor handed him a roll of thin blue papers.
"Blue prints?" Hatch laughed. "Well dad always was a bit old fashioned. I'll help as soon as I get these dishes done. Care to join me?"
"Uh...no thanks."
"Ok." Hatchet shrugged and started humming to himself as he fed another dish through the automatic scrubber.
Fin



A Vampire's Night Out

"AAAAGH!" Lucas yelped as he found an under dressed nineteen year old giving him a lap dance. He promptly leapt from his seat making her fall off. "WHAT THE HELL!"
"Hey thirty bucks ain't enough for this man." the striper picked herself up.
"Who...what...?" Lucas looked around, baffled by his new surroundings.
Then he saw a dozen empty shot glasses sitting on the bar behind him. "DAMNIT! He's been drinking! In MY body! Ruining MY liver!"
"No he hasn't." Jaga replied from the stool next to him. "Those are Shiroi's."
"Shiroi? He's here? HE'S BEEN DRINKING!" Lucas smacked his forehead.
"Yeah. I've never seen anyone who can put 'em away like that."
"Shit! Now we've gotta find him before he kills something!" Lucas shouted as he took a step forward and immediately fell on his face.
"Ok, so maybe you had a few." Jaga stated.
"GOD DAMNIT!"
"What? no praise for being the designated driver?"
"Shut up."
"Oooh. Hostility."
"Help me stand." Lucas growled at him. Jaga snatched the back of his shirt and yanked him to his feet. "Am I standing yet?"
"Yeah."
"Ok, good." He took another step and fell again.
"Let's try this again."
"No wait! I think I'm going to puke..."
"Eh, that's just in your imagination. you haven't had THAT many. Just two shots really..." Lucas vomited on his shoe.
"Being the designated driver sucks ass."
That's when Shiroi made his appearance.
"Dudes! I just found the slaughter house jackpot!" he exclaimed grabbing Lucas' arm and dragging the poor blonde behind him. Jaga fallowed slowly with his hands in his black jeans.
"Wait! We can't kill anybody! What would the girls say?" Lucas objected.
"Ah c'mon Lucas, the only person who wouldn't be doing this with us would be Trin. And since when do you care about the girls?" Shiroi replied.
"He's the mortal one." Jaga told him.
"Oh. Party pooper!"
The three found themselves outside a weight watcher convention.
"Why are we here?" Jaga asked.
"Victims." Shiroi gave a fanged grin.
"WHAT! NO! WE CAN'T!"
"Why not? They're slow, helpless, and huge!"
"Not to mention, fattening, high on cholesterol, and bad for your blood pressure."
"You're point being?"
"AGH!" Lucas yelled out of aggravation.
"You're such a whimp you know that." Shiroi got threateningly close to his face. Lucas almost choked on his breath.
"Am not. I just watch my diet that's all."
"You're the one who had three bud lights, five bags of Doritos, and a bucket of fried chicken before we even got to the bar."
"I did?"
"He had the munchies from all the weed." Jaga brought up.
"WHAT! THE BASTARD!" Lucas walked in ranting circles around the two. Jaga was happy the parking lot was empty. "What else did I do?"
"Well, you have some love slaves now too."
"Really?"
"No."
"Damn...I mean...THANK GOD."
"This is going to be fun when we get home." Jaga smiled.
"Yeah I hear kitty now..." Lucas sighed "What the f*** were you thinking?!" she'll say."
"And some other choice words..." Shiroi started but shushed everyone suddenly "Look! Here comes a nice slow one!" a woman resembling the love child of curious George and shamu waddled into the parking lot.
"Dude, we can't." Lucas held his arm.
"Sure we can. We'll even be putting her out of her misery. Look at her."
"Shiroi." Lucas' blue eyes grew stern. "We just can't." Suddenly the vamp stopped fighting him. "She's completely helpless. She may even have some kids at home. Are you prepared to orphan those kids?"
"Well...no." He showed a hint of sobriety.
"Good." Lucas let go. Then began eyeing the woman. "But I am MORE than prepared." he hissed with an evil grin, revealing his own pair of fangs.
"Wait! Dude! You're right! We can't start killing people. It wouldn't be right! They have families!"
"So, I'll kill their families too." Lucas shrugged.
Jaga whapped him over the head with a glass beer bottle
"What the hell did you do that for?" he turned to him with gleaming fangs.
"Damn. It worked in the movies"
"Dude, we can't go about killing people." Shiri replied to Lucas, who was rubbing his now bleeding head.
"Yes we can. Now, look, she's gettin away." The woman was in her car and out of the parking lot.
"Your hair starting to turn red." Jaga pointed out as Lucas took this opportunity to pass out from blood loss, which is strange for a vampire.
Fin/OWARI

Praying Mantis

She walked down the hall with her black chrome semi-automatic strapped to her side. It blended in perfectly with her short black dress and long black leather jacket (despite her dark clothing her lips were painted a cherry red). The echo of her long high heels could be heard throughout the building. The blonde waltzed right into the room ahead of her, completely ignoring the objection from the secretary at the desk.
"Excuse me ma'am but you MUST have an appointment." The man rushed up behind her. Her face remaining stern, the blonde blew him off. "Ma'am?" She burst the door open and saw a black haired executive talking on her phone. She turned to face the intruder.
"May I help you?" she asked cupping her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone.
"Yes." The woman's face was still rigid. "Try not to bleed all over the place. Those stains are murder for janitors." She whisked the gun from her side and in one ping of a shot a crisp red beam sliced through the middle of her forehead. She turned to see the male secretary backing up to his desk. She grabbed his head with her black-gloved hands and SNAP

Madison shot up in her bed sweat covering every inch of her body. She took a few gulps of oxygen before she relaxed a little. The exploits of what she used to be and (whether she wanted to admit it or not) sometimes still was; haunted her very soul to the core. She often had dreams about the things she had done and forgotten. She should be used to them by now, but she wasn't. Slowly Madi got out of her bed and began to change into some clothes. She still had that chrome black semi-automatic under her pillow, though she didn't use it anymore. Instead she now had a weapon the suited her new tastes.

She walked down the hall with her sleek, silver, 11 x 25 x 3 cm Desert Eagle pistol strapped to her side. It blended in perfectly with her loose silk white pirate shirt, blue jeans, and gray hooded jacket (to match her light clothing her lips were painted a soft pink). The echo of her white and gray sandals could be heard throughout the building. The blonde waltzed right into the room ahead of her, completely ignoring the fact that it was one AM.
"What are you doing in here?" Hatchet asked his sister gazing at the clock. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. She didn't answer him. "Can I help you with something?"
"…I don't know. I had a bad dream, but now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time."
"I think you've forgotten this before." Hatch answered.
"Sorry to wake you up." Madi replied.
"It's ok. I was going to wake up early to make breakfast. May as well get started early. He gave her his usual grin. It made her feel much better.
Fin



Cross-Dressed For Success

Kit took a deep sighing breath and stepped into the dining hall. Everyone seemed pissed about something. Of course they always did.
"Morning all!" Kitty said cheerily as she leapt into her seat. "What's for breakfast?"
"Nothing." Hatch growled at her.
"Why not?"
"I'm getting SICK and TIRED of all these damn questions!" he yelled, got up, and left the room.
"Did he skip his medication or something?" Kit asked the person next to her. It just happened to be Sim.
"How the hell should I know." She snapped.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing! Leave me alone!" she also got up and left. Kitty was afraid to ask anyone else, they might decide to lynch her.

After the nonexistent breakfast Kit went to the garden. The sky was much darker than usual, and thin gray smog hovered in the air. Kit coughed a few times and had to go back in.
"Have you guys been outside? It's completely unbreathable." Kitty replied as she went into the main room. Everyone still looked pissed.
"Who f****** cares?" Oniko retorted. Now Kit knew something was wrong? Something was affecting everyone in the palace? The stuff outside maybe? But why wasn't it effecting her?
"Wait a minute. The gray crap isn't even in here." She realized. Then she focused a bit more on her surroundings…it was in there. You just looked through it if you weren't looking for it. If this little bit was doing everything God forbid they went outside. "Crap! They're gonna be missing HALF of their populace if I don't do something!"
"Why you? Other people live here too ya know?" Sim asked her from behind. Kitty jumped.
"Sim! You're…"
"Not mad?"
"Yeah."
"You're not the only one who's got immunities."
"Then why were you so grouchy this morning?"
"Well, you see, Shini was really tired last night and he has this pulled groin muscle so we didn't get to..."
"STOP!"
"I was going to say, "see the saiya-jin version of CATS." What did you think...oooooohh."
"Let's just go ahead and change the subject. What are we going to do about all the gray stuff?"
"I don't know, but it's RUINING MY PLANET!"
"My planet, bitch!" Trin yelled at her cousin.
"Whoa…Trinity…you're hair…"
"I didn't feel like fixing it. OK?"
"Yes ma'am." That put Sim in her place.
"Yeah! Well who cares how you felt this morning? It's not morning anymore. You go back to you room now and fix that…mess." Kitty snapped in Sim's defense.
"Are you telling me what to do?" Trin got threateningly close.
"Yes, I am." She made sure to articulate every word. Trinity grunted and turned away at the intense gaze she was receiving. "C'mon, Sim. We have work to do." Kitty turned away as well and grabbed Sim's arm as she left.

"I could have done that." Sim snorted when they were in the dining hall alone.
"Well why didn't you?" Kitty raised one of her eyebrows.
"Because…" Sim crossed her arms defiantly. "I didn't feel like it."
"Maybe this stuff is working on you after all. You're pissed all the time. It could be mellowing you out."
"Mellow? Trin scared the hell outta me! I get scared like everyone else! I'm normal too!" Sim raved.
"Then again I could be wrong."
"Well according to your theory you're being affected too." She did little quotations with her fingers at the words "theory" and "affected".
"Oh yeah? How so?"
"You're too damn agreeable!"
"That's because of the tranquilizers…that's it! The tranquilizers are balancing the gray stuff out! That's why I'm not moody. For once I'm glad my natural immunities didn't flush it out of my system."
"Me too." Sim replied remembering the assassinations attempts.
"We gotta figure out how to get that crap outta the castle." Kitty was referring to the fog, of course.
"Let's ask Hatch!" Sim suggested. "He defeated Lex's army once. He can help us fight he mist!"
"No good. He's pissed too. The only thing we'll get outta him is death threats."
"Unless we help him with the dishes."
"How's that gonna help our cause?"
"Just trust me." Sim smirked.
"Wait a minute...doing the dishes isn't some sort of sex lingo is it?"
"Ew! No!...well maybe...NO!" Sim sat down. "Well, what ARE we going to do?"
"Ow!" a familiar voice yelped. She jumped up. Lucas stood and brushed himself off.
"Damnit! What are YOU doing here?" Kit spat venomously.
"I...uh...oh hell, I was eavesdropping."
"Men." Sim snarled. "What do YOU think we should do?"
"I haven't the slightest idea."
"Damn. I thought you were supposed to be a genius."
"I am...."
"Wait...does anyone have a bottle of blonde hair dye?" Kitty perked up.
"Well, yes..." Sim looked at her questioningly.
"Then, you two come with me...."

"I DON'T THINK SO!" Lucas shouted from behind the closed closet door.
"Come on out!" Kit demanded as she zipped her fly.
"NO!"
"Come on, Pretty Momma!" Sim joined in as her alter ego Irvine "I bet you're hot!"
"Shut up!"
"Did you remember to shave your legs?" Kit called to him. There was a long silence. "
"Yes..." he finally admitted.
"WHOOIE!" Irvine slapped his leg. "I gotta see this!"
Slowly the door opened and Lucas stepped out, wearing a cowgirl outfit and a red haired wig.
"I knew it!" Kitty put on a cowboy hat.
"Are you sure Lex doesn't know about Sim and Irvine?" the dampire questioned.
"I don't see why she should."
"Now yall need country names." Irvine wrapped an arm around the cross dressed Lucas's shoulders. "How about Bessie?"
"I'm NOT a cow, thank you."
"Okay, okay. How bout...Betty Sue? That's a nice name for a classy dame like you."
"I'm not a woman. And you're not a man. This is all hair dye and cowboy hats. YOU'RE ALL PSYCHO!"
"It's the only way Lex will let us anywhere near her." Kitty reminded.
"How do you even know its Lex?" Lucas argued.
"Because it's always Lex." Kit answered bluntly.
"Point."
"I think I'll call myself..." Kit thought a minute. "Alex Dido."
"Alex Dido?" Sim questioned.
"Yeah. Alex for my first name, and Dido because it means manly woman."
"You're both sick." Lucas said with distaste.
"Look who's wearing the dress." Kit zinged under her breath.
"Hush now, yall, and I'll treat yall to a few rounds at the local bar after we're through with this Lex broad."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Kit wondered.
"You'll have to give me a few just to go out in public like this." Lucas grumbled. "I'm outta this crap." He got up and headed back to the dressing room.
"Oh no you don't." Sim and Kit each took an arm and "escorted" him out of the castle.

"Ah ha! I knew Lex was behind this." Alex whispered hoarsely to Irvine and, the recently decided, Lucy. They watched from the bushes at the black armoured guys loading a cargo ship.
"What now?"
"Well, we need to get our hands on a few of those suits." Kit told them.
"No prob, I'll be right back." Sim tipped her hat to them and was off.
"What the hell is she going to do?" Lucas asked.
"I don't know. Let's just hope she doesn't eat one of them." Kit answered.
An hour later Sim returned with three suits.
"How did you?"
"That's a secret. Now let's go find this Lex broad an' get this mist offa my planet."
"C'mon Lucy. Hurry up." Kit tapped her foot with impatience.
"Do you know how hard it is to get a helmet on without messing up your hair? And call me Cassandra." His voice had softened greatly.
"Ok, Cassandra." Kit smirked at Sim. "Let's go before they leave."
"Yeeha!" Sim yipped as the three went to sneak on board the cargo ship.
"Getting past the guards was easy...of course Lucas, Lucy, Cassandra, whatever had to show some leg a few times to distract the guards while the guys jumped them from behind.
"I'll never let you forget this," he whispered after one guard tried to cop a feel.
"You know," Kit started up a conversation "This is kinda like old times...Lucas and Sim and Me...going in for the kill together."
"Yeah, only this time I feel like a hermaphrodite." Lucas mumbled.
"It's better than the pink frilly prom dress...remember?"
"Of course I remember! I was in therapy for years because of that!"
When they got to the ship the three quickly separated from the rest of the guards. When Lucas took his helmet off he whipped his hair like a real woman.
Kit's jaw dropped.
"Daaaaaaammnn!" She looked him up and down.
"What?"
"Yer startin' ta enjoy bein' a woman aren't ya?" Sim snortled.
"No way!" Lucas argued. "Well I am." he grinned. As he said his second statement his eyes turned an ice blue but quickly reverted for the rebuttal. "Shut-up!" "Make me."
"Ah gawd..." Kit shook her head. "If yer gonna do this we shoulda left ya on land." She had perfected her western accent and really knew how to carry herself like a man all of the sudden.
"I'm not the one arguing here." Lucas replied. "Yes you are." "Shut up!"
Just then a hand landed on Sim's shoulder.
"Are you Irvine Legend?" he asked.
"Uh..."
"Come with me please. And you too ma'am." he grabbed Kitty as well. Lucas was left there unharmed.

"So you thought you could fool ME with these pitiful disguises?" Lex passed back and forth in front of her new prisoners who were chained to the wall.
"What is she talking about?" Irvine turned to Alex and asked. If he-she could have slapped her forehead she would have.
"SILENCE!" Lex commanded.
"Excuse me ma'am" Irvine spoke up again. "I have to go to the bathroom."
"You what?"
"I thought I'd loosen my pants and let the lizard spit for a while..."
"Go right ahead," Lex smirked and turned around.
"Um...I kinda need my hands..."
"LUCAS!" Lex shouted an ordered.
"I think I'll hold it." Irvine crossed his legs and gave a pained smile.
"Look, Lex..."
"Lex the CONTROLLER!"
"Whatever. Just stop testing your experiments on live planets and we wouldn't have these encounters." Kit told her.
"But you misunderstand. I rather enjoy these encounters. Besides, I can't very well test my experiments on my OWN planets."
"You bitch." Kit spat.
"I'm you, remember?"
"So you'll finally admit it huh?"
"Among other things." Lex smirked.
Kit was about to retaliate but decided she really didn't want to get into that discussion.
"Just turn the gray mist off and we'll call ourselves even."
"Even? Even for what?"
"Well I'm about to kick your ass." Kit put in.
"And how are you going to do that?"
"Like this." That was when Kitty began to morph into her hybrid-dragon form. She easily tore the shackles from the wall and readied the chains still on her wrists as weapons.

"How do I get myself into these messes?" Kitty asked herself when Lex had her pinned to the floor. She morphed back to normal since this wasn't working.
"Well THAT was a waste a time!" Sim snapped as Kitty was once again chained to the wall.
"Shut-up."
"Well, ain't this a kick in the head?" Lucas said loudly from behind Lex. She spun around to face him
"Lucas!" she hissed with distaste...her features softened into almost a smile "...you're wearing a dress..."
"So what, you bitch?!"
"For that, you shall suffer." she waved her hand mystically. The expression on the dampire's face was one of horror.
"I can't feel my...YOU TURNED ME INTO A WOMAN!"
"YOU BITCH!" Kitty raged this time taking her hybrid form out of anger. This was much more effective than the first time. She almost ripped two holes in the wall getting down. She roared and leapt onto Lex.
"WHOOIE! Now THIS is a fight!" Irvine proclaimed.
"Don't kill her!" Lucas yelled. "She has to turn me back into a man!"
The battle was fierce but finally Kit won. She smashed her tail into Lex's face a knocked her out. Lucas...or should we say Lucy, had already helped Sim down. Now all they had to do was figure a way to get that gray fog off the planet.
"I finally got to kick Lex's ass!" Kitty exclaimed going back to normal. "I feel so complete."
"I wish I could say the same." Lucas grumbled.
"Maybe we should be looking for a fog machine or something." Irvine suggested.
"No duh." Kit snapped
"Oh, like this one?" Lucas pointed to a small machine with a sign that read "Evil Mist Machine"
"How convenient." Kit walked over to it and flipped the off switch.
"That was easy."
"Mission accomplished!" Irvine cheered.
"Ahem." Lucas cleared his throat and pointed to his/her crotch." Now how to we fix this?"
"I dunno," Kit scratched her head. "We have wizards and sorcerers at home. Let them fix it. They turned me from a cat."
"I don't want to become sex goddess," he mumbled.
"Ooo, honey you already are!" Kit teased.
"SHUT-UP!"
Fin/OWARI



Changes Changes Everywhere

"You HAVE to turn me back." Lucas pleaded with the warlocks. "I don't think I can take much more of this."
"Sorry, but I we can't do it alone. You'll have to wait until Shinigami comes back from hell." Tsvantoor told him.
"You didn't need him to change Kitty into a person from a damn CAT!"
"Yeah but that was different, we wanted to change her back into woman."
"And you don't want to change me back into a man?"
"No way, this is too damn funny."
"I hate you." Lucas grumbled.
"And we hate you too." Tsvan grinned slapping his hand on his…her shoulder.
"Don't touch me." She muttered with hostility. She didn't even look at them as she stormed away.

"So Lex turned Lucas into a woman, huh?" Trin replied after hearing Sim and Kit's little story. Sim still had finally shaken off her alter ego after she tried to pee standing up about five minutes after they stole a pod and flew back to Vegita. Just then they heard thudding noises on the wall in the room next to them. The three got up to check the situation.
"What's going on? What's that banging noise?" Trin asked.
"Huh?" Lucas gazed up at them wearily. "That banging noise? Oh. That was just my head hitting the wall. Don't worry about it." She sighed and sat down. This whole "girl" thing was deeply depressing her.
"Are you still a girl?" Kitty wondered.
"Yes."
"I thought the guys would have changed you back by now."
"No." she sniffled. "They hate me." The sniffle from before grew into an all out flood.
"Awwww." They said at once going up to her sympathetically. They surrounded Lucas in a group hug.
"It's ok, being a girl isn't all THAT bad." Trin crooned.
"Except for the PMS." Sim put in.
"And maternal tendencies." Kit added
"The chance of getting pregnant."
"Having to worry about your looks."
"Always being stereotyped."
"This is NOT helping guys!" Lucas bawled.
"Sorry." Sim and Kit said together.
"What did they say? Did they just refuse?" Trin tried to undo the emotional damage the other two had caused.
"No. They said that they needed Shinigami to come back and help."
"See, they don't hate you."
"Yes they do."
"What makes you say that?"
"They said they hated me."
"Oh." She turned to Kitty. "Your turn."
"My turn? What am I supposed to say?"
"Well you were married to him. What did you say to make him feel better then?"
"I didn't say anything. I slept with him." She shrugged. Lucas began howling even louder.
"Damn it! Make him stop for Christ's sake! Make him stop!" Sim yelled covering her ears.
"Uh…uh…" Kitty began to panic.
"Fine!" Simoriah grabbed up the footstool in front of the chair and lifted it above Lucas' head. "I'll do it!"
"Wait!" Lucas called up to her. "I'm calm now." Her voice still rattled, but the tears had stopped flowing.
"Saved by the mood swing." Kit shook her head.
"I need a drink." The short, flaxen haired woman declared.
"Yes, yes, drink." Sim snickered strumming her fingertips together. She led Lucas to the kitchen. Trin and Kit lingered behind.
"Let's just hope his morals don't slip while he's drunk." Kit whispered to her.
"I wouldn't worry about it. Everyone here knows he was a man, he wouldn't be able to get anyone to have sex with him."
"That's just it. He may try to sleep with me."
"Ewwww," Trin shuddered at the thought.

Time went on, as usual, and Sim successfully got Lucas inebriated, though there really wasn't too much of a fight. In the process the three got a bit tipsy themselves.
"And then the cow says moo." Lucas finished. They all fell out of their chairs laughing.
"Wait, I think I've heard that one before…" Sim replied. That only seemed to make it funnier.
"Hang on!" Kitty exclaimed. "Hang on! I got one! What's cream, then red, then white all over?"
"Um…" Sim poured some more sake into glasses and took a long drink for herself. "Dunno." She coughed almost choking. A bit of sake was drizzled down her neck.
"Lucas, after he's had too many." She laughed. Everyone joined her.
"Actually," Lucas put in completely smashed. "That would be 'she' now. " She chortled for a moment then burst into a roar.

While everyone was enjoying themselves, they didn't realize they were being watched.
"If one of those women hadn't been a guy and the other wasn't my sister, I would be completely turned on by this." Jaga told Hatch. The ex-lunatic shook his head. Then Mage came in. He still couldn't talk, but you could tell by his face he was trying to figure out whom the short haired blonde chick was, and why she was hanging out with his grandma.
"That's Lucas," Jaga explained. Mage swallowed and went pale.
"This is just great," Hatch added. "Now I have two mothers."
"Yeah," Madi stepped up to her brother. "Another bitch to add to the family tree."
"I thought you liked dad. He practically raised you, remember?"
"No, Shinigami practically raised me, then a bore his children." Mage went from pale to rouge.
"The only man to survive a night with The Mantis."
"Hey, I felt obligated."
"Obligated? How?"
"Let's just say, I know what Sim sees in him." She grinned, patted his cheek, and left the room with a twirl. Mage gave the "one moment" sign and headed for the nearest men's room.
"Ooo, bet he didn't want to hear that." Jaga chuckled.
That's when Kitty rushed past them. Hatch and Jaga looked at one another and decided to fallow.

"You HAVE to change Lucas back into a man!" she yelled at Tsvantoor.
"Why?"
"Because I'm horny as hell and turning into a lesbian!" She urgently pushed him into the wall.
"And that would be bad, how?" Jaga asked. Hatch smacked him upside the head, which earned him a belt in the jaw.
"It's not that easy," Tsvan began.
"Sure it is! You turned me into a woman from a CAT! Just zap bang give him back his dangly bits!" she sounded desperate.
"Let me finish," Tsvan pried her off of himself and straightened his clothes. "The key spell to do that is verbal."
"So?"
"The only one of us powerful enough is Mage."
"What about Shinigami? Mage is his death spawn! He could do it!"
"You want to go down into hell and get him?"
"If I have to!"
"Fine, you get Shini, we'll give Lucas back his manly hood."
"Deal!"
Fin



To hell and back…literally

"Whatever you do, don't eat anything, don't sit on anything, and don't sleep with any gods of death or their offspring." Sim told her as they headed for the gateway to hell.
"Why not?" Kitty was afraid to ask.
"You'll end up like me."
"Good enough."
"Honey, I'm hooooome!" Sim called, opening the mahogany doors to Shinigami's drawing room. A decapitated man stood there talkin to him. Shini looked up, surprised as she came in.
"It's not winter, yet is it?" he questioned.
"Nope. We..."
"GOTTCHA!" Someone jumped her from behind.
"We need you to come back with us." Kitty continued.
"Why?"
"Lex turned Lucas into a woman and we need you to turn him back."
The god of death burst out into laughter.
"Are you going to help us or not?" Kit was impatiently tapping her foot as Sim continued to wrestle with a white-faced guy.
Shini stopped laughing and looked at her with humorous eyes.
"Sure."
"You will?!"
"Yeah, normally, I'd love to watch him suffer, but hell, we all know how much I hate Lex."
"We should get going then?"
"Fine."
"What about Sim?"
"Go ahead without me! I'm gonna kick this bastard's ass once and for all!" she shouted, kicking Jake in the head. He caught her foot and made her fall flat on her back.
"Have a good time honey." Shini kissed her cheek, took Kitty's arm and lead her out.
"Wait a sec!" Cael's voice rang out.
He came running in from a doorway on the other side of the huge room.
He was dragging a green haired woman behind him. She fought him violently.
"Come ON Jasmine!" he pulled harder. She hissed and scratched him across the cheek.
"I told you, to let me the hell go!" she spat.
"But I love you!" he called after her as she stormed back into hell.
"'But I love you!'" Jake mocked him, laughing.
Kit slammed her fist into his face.
"That's my brother," she hissed, turning into her dragon self.
"Whoa...sorry?"
"Don't tell me, tell my sweet dear baby brother."
"An opening!" Sim rejoiced, tackling the jerk again.
"Shall we?" Shini offered his arm to her again.
Kit looked at him with her "you stupid asshole" look, grabbed her bawling brother and walked towards the door. Cael jerked out of her grasp and ran back through the door Jasmine had used.
"STUPID JERK! STUPID STUPID STUPID!" Sim slammed Jake's head into a wall with every insult.
"Not now! I have to save Cael...I think." Kit glared at him.
"I'll help you," he offered.
"Look! JUST because you're gonna change Lucas back DOESN'T mean I like you!" she snapped. She was still in her dragon form. "All though you are pretty hot..." she smirked.
"HEY!" Sim yelled out from beating Jake. "He's mine!"
"Ladies," Jake replied. "I don't see why you just can't share?"
"You stay out of this!" Sim smashed his face into the wall. Shini just had a dazed and confused expression.
Kit snapped her teeth at Shinigami seductively and curled her tail around his legs.
"HEY!" Sim exclaimed again. She let go of Jake and headed angrily for Kitty.
"Didn't you say you had to save your little brother?" she snapped yanking the hybrid off her man. He still seemed confused, but that confusion was mingled with amusement.
"What are YOU grinning at?!" Sim yelled at him.
"Uh...nothing my pet..." he began.
"Aw, come off it, don't be such a tightie." Kit snubbed crossing her arms.
"Are you insane?" Sim came to the realization.
"Um..." Kit rolled her violet eyes up. "Yeah, I think I am."
"Oh, damn." Shini mumbled. He rubbed his temples with his fingertips.
"Must be the heat getting to her," Jake commented, and he didn't mean the fires of hell.
"I told you to stay outta this!" Sim raged.
"Lemmie try." Jake clapped his hands delightedly.
"Who are you?" Kit gave him an annoyed look.
He didn't answer; instead he punched her on the jaw. She was knocked out!
Shini picked her up and slung her over his shoulder.
"By, pet." He kissed Sim's cheek again.
"Byeee!" she waved as they left and tackled Jake again.

"Uhhhh..." Kit moaned when she came to. As her vision cleared the first face she saw was Shini's. "Great, just what I want to see first thing." She grumbled and picked herself up.
"What happened to, 'you're pretty hot.'?" Shini grinned at her.
"I was INSANE! Of course I would like you then." Kit growled. "Have you turned Lucas back into a man yet?"
"No."
"No! What do you mean NO! DAMN IT! I went to HELL so you could change him back!"
"So."
"Ok, hell is new territory for some of us." she explained why it was a big deal.
"Oh."
"So why haven't you changed him back yet?!"
"Can't find him." Shinigami shrugged.
"Did you check the lab?"
"Lab?"
"The basement. Lucas used to do all of his experiments in there."
"Oh, no, not yet." Kitty shook her head and headed for the one place she knew her loved one would be.

"I'm so sorry!" Lucas squalled as Kit and Shini came in. She grabbed Kitty in a bear hug as she cried.
"About what?" Kit choked with what air she had left in her lungs.
"I wanted to do something for you, because you were so nice to me and all...and...I...I..." he pointed to the remains of a machine.
"What is it?" Kitty asked him.
"Your radio..."
"Why did you take apart my radio, Lucas?"
"I was going to put a TV in it, but when I took it apart and I couldn't remember how to put it back together again." she sobbed.
"Oh come on, I've seen you take apart whole space ships and put them back together, why would you be having such a hard time with my radio?" Shini was snickering at the scene in the background. Kit glared at him.
"Because I'm a ditz!" she wailed. Kitty was starting to regret she was wearing a white t-shirt as Lucas began to soak it.
"Do you still love me?" she asked Kitty.
"Uh..." She turned to Shini who now just looked disturbed. "YOU HAVE TO CHANGE HIM BACK!" she shouted at him.
"Ok!" he agreed. He started muttering some arcane words and…
"What the hell am I crying about?" Lucas wondered. "It's just a stupid radio." He let go of Kit and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Did you do it?" Kitty asked.
"Yes." Shini seemed pleased with himself.
"Do what?" Lucas wanted to know.
"He turned you back into a man!" Kitty clasped her hands together, and jumped up and down as she siad this.
"He did? Excuse me for just a moment." He stepped out of the room. "YES!"

"Buh-bye now!" Sim waved to Jake as he left.
She shut the door and sighed. In the silence she noticed a sobbing sound coming from the fireplace. She looked over there and noticed Cael was bawling his eyes out.
"What's up with you?" she sneered at him.
"She won't come back with me," he sniffed.
"Who?"
"JAAAAAAAASSSMMMMINNNNNE!!" he wailed, grabbing onto her and crying on her shoulder. Surprised, she uneasily put her arms around him in a hug.
"Who's Jasmine?"
"My love from above."
"How nice...is she the girl I saw you with earlier?"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!" he wailed again and started crying harder than ever.
"But she's a lucifer!"
"I KNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!"
"Well, then I suggest you get over her."
"I can't!"
"Why not? The chance of her changing is about 1 in a million."
"That's just it, she IS one in a million!"
"Sappy lil...you have to let go of her! Listen to me! You know as well as I do about lucifers..."
"NO!" Sim jumped as he yelled at her "YOU DON'T KNOW!" He stood angrily, still crying. "I USED TO BE ONE TOO!"
Simoriah was speechless.
"You?"
"Yes..." he said solemnly.
"Poor thing" she jumped up an hugged him. "I'm sorry"
He pulled away from her.
"Who are you and what have you done with Simoriah?"
Her eyes narrowed to slits.
"I was being supportive, you dip...and if you ever tell anyone I'll rip your spine out through your nose."
"That would hurt."
"Yes it would, now how are we going to get your little girlfriend back..."
Fin/OWARI



Lust, love, or none of the above

There was really no sense in being stealthy in hell, so Sim and Cael just burst right into the big guys door.
"Caelestis? What a nice surprise." Lucifer smiled at him suavely.
"Surprise my ass mother f*****. Give me back my Jasmine!" A devil can really bring the bad outta a guy. Sim rubbed her eyes and looked at Cael again to make sure it was really him.
"Such profane language, you should be ashamed of that mouth of yours."
"Screw you."
"No thank you. I prefer real sexual stimulation. Like that one your Jasmine provides." Sim still couldn't believe this conversation was actually taking place. Lucifer snapped his fingers and the green haired chick came in. She smiled at the devil, sat in his lap, and licked his cheek causing steam to arise.
"Bastard! Take her out of whatever spell you have her under!"
"Spell? Me? You must be joking. I don't need magic to make people convert. Just reasoning."
"Convert this you suicidal shit faced @*$%#!" Cael started taking his monstrous form. Sim had only seen him use it when he was ready to kill Lucas for murdering his older sister. But she did know he swore never to take the form again. Hell must have made him weak. There was no way they would get Jasmine back this way. Now all Sim had to do was convince Cael of it.
"Boys, boys." Sim stepped between them "Can't we talk about this like civilized gentlemen?"
"NO! LOOK WHAT HE DID TO JASMINE!" Cael's grumbled in his now very low voice.
"Calm down, Cael."
"I'LL KILL HIM!"
"You and I both know that you can't."
He just growled.
"I don't care."
"Well have a care you dip! This is hell! I know this guy! He's evil! He's strong! And he's quite the life of the party! You aren't going to win this way! If you get angry, you're just doing what he wants and that definitely isn't getting Jasmine any closer to recovery, now CALM DOWN DAMNIT!"
"Oh go f*** yourself!" Cael yelled at her. Sim got mad at that one.
"OK! THAT'S IT! I'VE BEEN PATIENT WITH YOU LONG ENOUGH!" Sim threw a punch at Cael's ankle...the only thing she was close to. "OW!" She screeched shaking her sore hand.
Lucifer began laughing along with Jasmine.
"Let her go you evil conniving son of a bitch!"
"I appreciate the compliment, but I can't do that." Lucifer told him coolly. "Why don't you just come back? Then you can be with her."
"Is that why you corrupted my sweet love's mind? To get me?" Cael began taking his real form again.
"In the beginning, then I realized what a vixen she was in the sack." Jasmine giggled and started to play with his ear.
"Cael! Let's go!" Sim grabbed him quickly. "Sorry to have taken up you time Lucifer."
"No time at all. Time is endless here."
"Right. We'll just be going then..." Sim had to drag Cael behind her while he spat out profanities even SHE had never heard before.

"Why did you do that?" Cael hissed at Sim.
"I'm trying to save your ass."
"I don't need you to save me!"
"Yes you do, you insolent pup! He would have either got you to join him, or killed you with insanity! You forget! This is my forte'! I have afternoon tea with this guy! All you can do is hate him."
She slumped angrily against a wall." Last time I try to help a native of heaven."
"Bitch." Cael smirked.
"See! See how he's changed you already?!"
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about."
"Example A: You're cussing like...like you belong here."
"Maybe I do." Cael crossed his arms.
"No. I am not having this conversation with Kitty's little brother. The same guy who was amazed that fire is hot. This is not happening..." she ranted as they walked up the hallway to Shini's level.

"We should plan an attack." Cael was saying as Sim handed him a cup of decafe.
"Oh?" Sim sat down in front of him. After a few hours he had started to calm down a bit.
"Yeah. We should rally all the other gods against him! Get some angels in o the deal! We both have some powerful connections..."
"Now hold on a min there Sparky, I'm not starting any wars here. I don't do war. I'm an assassin. Short and sweet. Plus, I don't wanna rile these people up. These are my friends mind you. I just don't happen to agree with what Lucie is doing."
"Lucie?! You call him Lucie?! That's it! I'm going to transform and crush his meaningless ass!"
"I never thought I'd see the day that I would be the voice of reason..."

"Where's Cael?" Kit wondered to herself.
"Who cares? Go to sleep." Lucas grumbled from the other side of the bed.
"You had more than enough energy when we were celebrating you getting your manliness back." Kitty smirked.
"Yeah, well 'had' is the key word there."
"I'm gonna go find him." Kit whipped the covers off of herself and leapt from the bed.
"How can you not be tired?" Lucas wanted to know.
"What? It was only twelve times." She slipped on some clothes and was ready to go in no time.
"Have fun in hell." Lucas bade her farewell and was out like a light. She merely shook her head.

"Hey, how did you find your way back here?" Shinigami asked Kit as she stepped through the mahogany doors.
"Like it's really that hard to go through hell? I've been doing it for years." Kitty shrugged. "You seen Cael?"
"Yeah, he's in the kitchen with Sim plotting to over throw the most powerful minion hell has ever spawned."
"Ok, thanks." Kitty waved at him.
She walked on back, knowing exactly where the kitchen was. Cael was ranting about flamethrowers and gasoline when she entered.
"Dear god! She's already gotten to him!" Kitty shrieked. "What did you do to my brother you vixen!"
"Say what?!" Sim gave her an odd look.
"Sorry. Got caught up in the moment."
"I KNOW! We can get trained pigs to kill him! He wont be expecting that!" Cael exclaimed.
"What is he talking about? Is he ok?" Kitty asked Sim.
"Temptation's too much for him down here. He's gone off." Sim answered her.
"Oh, know how that feels." Kit muttered.
"Now where can we get twelve tons of cement at this hour?" Cael wondered.
"Hey kiddo," Kitty smacked his shoulder with her hand affectionately. "I gotta news flash for ya. You can't kill evil. I know from experience."
"Aw f*** your experience. And what the hell are you doing here anyway?"
"Whoa..." Kitty backed up a bit surprised at his outburst. "Such hatred can not be good for ones mental health."
"Or physical for that matter." Sim mumbled and took another sip of her coffee.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" Cael snapped.
"What it sounds like." Sim replied with a shrug.
"Is that a threat? Are you threatening me? I knew it! You're on their side! You're all against me! I'll show you! I'll show you all! I will kill Lucifer!" At that Caelestis ran from the room.
"Wha?" Kitty was dazed.
"He's in the paranoia stage of the transition." Sim answered her.
"Transition to what?"
"Evil."
"What! Why didn't you take him to the surface?"
"He didn't want to go. Not without Jasmine."
"Then why didn't you force him?!"
"And chance him changing on me? No way!"
"Fine, I'll get him."
"Good luck." Sim snorted taking another sip of her coffee. Kitty left the room, but came back shortly.
"Um…where would he have gone?"
"Realm seven. That's where Jasmine is."
"Realm seven? The master realm? HOLY F****** CHRIST! HE'LL KILL SOMEONE…AGAIN!"
"Um, on second thought, maybe I should go with you." Sim replied as she realized that Kit could only hold out for so long by herself. She put her coffee down and they walked out together.

"MY GOD! THE HEAT IS UNBEARABLE!" Kitty yelled.
"Well this IS the seventh realm. Besides, where's your sense of wonder? Your sense of adventure?"
"They ran off with my sense of humor." Kitty growled.
"Yeah, hell can do that to ya. Don't worry, we should find your brother soon. I know a short-cut outta here for when we do."
"Thanks Sim." Kit smiled, as her skin was slowly turning violet.
"Uh…no problem…I think…"

"Come on Caelestis," Lucifer put his hand on Cael's shoulder. "Remember all the good times we used to have? All that death and destruction you caused? It was great. You seemed so fulfilled then. What do you have to look forward to now?"
"I have people who love me…" Cael scrambled for a reason, any reason, why he shouldn't rejoin the forces of hell.
"Bah, they don't love you. No one can love a lucifer.
"I'm NOT a lucifer anymore!" Cael shoved the devil off and glared at him.
"Once a lucifer always a lucifer." He grinned. "And the ones who don't know what you are, how long do you think it will take them to figure it out? When they learn your lies they'll all hate you."
"That's not true…" Cael sounded unsure.
"Yes it is. Why do you think Jasmine hates you? When she learned of what you really were she knew that you couldn't be trusted. That you were merely rebel scum."
"NO! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT…I refuse to believe that." Lucifer placed his hand on Cael's shoulder again.
"Get your cursed winch hands OFF my baby brother!" Kitty called out. She had fully taken her dragon hybrid form now. Sim stood behind her with a smug grin.
"Sis?" Cael had never seen his sister like, like…this.
"Aminta?" How Lucifer knew her spirit name was unknown, that's what made him lord of the seventh realm.
"You remember me, how sweet. Why are you trying to take my brother? It's me you should be after." Sim was confused. Kitty knew Lucifer? Or was it just this Aminta chick, that was letting herself out, that knew him? Sim grabbed Cael and hurriedly took him to her short cut. She could came back and help Kit later.
"How could I forget? Heaven's spy on the netherworld. It seems like only yesterday."
"For you it probably was only yesterday."
"You tricked me."
"Yes, and I would do it again in a second." Aminta smirked.
"I would commend you, but when you have no emotions that sort of thing is rather empty."
"Yes, it is."
"Have you come only to save your brother from me? Are you sure that was your only drive to return?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, it wasn't. Only at the time I didn't know it. Hell is infectious. I see that hasn't changed."
"Yes, but you have haven't you Aminta. Ready to join me yet? Ready to have the respect and treatment you deserve?"
"NO KITTY!" Sim shouted. She leaves for five minutes and Lucifer has his clutches on her best friend too.
"Maybe in my next life." Aminta blew Lucifer a soft kiss and left with Sim dragging her from behind.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Don't you realize you were flirting with LUCIFER!" Sim shouted once they had reached the surface.
"I…I don't know what happened? I felt like I knew him, like we had a past…"
"Yeah, Lucie can do that to a person."
"Perhaps…" Kitty agreed, but she couldn't help to wonder…
"SWINE! HOW DARE YOU TIE ME UP LIKE THIS! I SHOULD SHOVE YOUR HEAD UP YOUR ASS EVEN FARTHER THAN IT'S ALL READY IN THERE!" Cael screamed from the tree. Sim had to string him up to keep him from trying to re-enter hell.
"Were we too late?" Kitty grew a look that mingled concern and worry perfectly.
"Naw, it'll just take him a while to shake off all hell's temptation." Sim replied.
"Oh, I'm starved. Let's go get something to eat."
"Ok, but your buying."
"Why should I buy? You're the one who owns their own planet."
"It's not mine, remember. So you're buyin'."
They casually left the ranting Cael on the tree.
Fin/OWARI